Why Rest Feels Unsafe When You’ve Always Been On

Why Rest Feels Unsafe When You’ve Always Been On

(And What It Means to Stop Before You Break)

Have you ever felt more anxious resting than when you’re overwhelmed?

Like the moment you slow down, your body starts scanning for danger even when there’s nothing there.

You lie down.
You pause.
You breathe.

And instead of relief, you feel restless.
Irritated.
Exposed.

Like something bad is about to happen and you’re not ready for it.

This Is What Happens When You’ve Been in Survival Mode Too Long

You get good at being on.
At responding.
At holding it together.

And after a while, your body forgets what off even feels like.

It starts treating stillness like a threat.

Because for so long, rest wasn’t safe.
It was vulnerable.
It was when the bad news came.
When someone needed something.
When the worst parts of the day caught up with you.

So you stayed in motion.
Because motion meant control.
And control meant protection.

I Thought I Was Just Bad at Relaxing

I used to think I didn’t know how to rest.
That maybe I just wasn’t wired for calm.
That the tension I carried was just part of being a capable person.

But it wasn’t that I couldn’t rest.
It was that I didn’t feel safe doing it.

I didn’t trust that the world would stay intact if I wasn’t holding it all the time.

And underneath that?
A quieter fear.
That maybe people only liked me because I was useful.
Because I showed up.
Because I always had the answer.
And if I stopped?
They might notice how much of me was just coping.

Rest Isn’t the Reward. It’s the Repair.

You don’t need to earn stillness.
You need to remember it.

You need to remind your body that not everything quiet is a threat.
That you’re not behind just because you stopped.
That slowing down doesn’t mean disappearing.
That you’re allowed to be held without offering something in return.

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Notes to Self:

If this opened something in you, we send more like it. Gently.